1 Peter 2:1

"So get rid of your feelings of hatred [unresolved anger]. Don't just pretend to be good! Be done with dishonesty." 1 Peter 2:1

First, be honest and admit how you are feeling and don't pretend you are something that you are not. This only worsens and complicates matters and doesn't resolve anything.

Second, accept yourself as a normal human being who sometimes has angry feelings.

Third, ask God to help you admit your true feelings and to lead you to the help you need to resolve them in healthy ways.

Fourth, accept responsibility for your feelings and don't blame others for your feelings. What the other person has done to us is their issue, but how I respond is always my responsibility. Also, don't blame the devil. When I get angry, the devil doesn't make me do it. I can get angry all by myself. Neither is my anger a demon as some would have me believe. As the Bible says, when we don't resolve our anger we "give a mighty foothold to the devil." So, when we resolve our anger, he, the devil, loses his foothold!

Fifth, determine to resolve your feelings the same day or as quickly as possible

Sixth, express your feeling creatively—perhaps to an understanding friend first or to an "imaginary" substitute, and where necessary, to the person at whom you are angry. This is not an excuse to lash out at others. The goal should always be to "speak the truth in love." Ephesians 4:15.

When expressing anger we need to verbalize the emotion. Talking about the anger doesn't resolve it. The emotion needs to be released—not as an attack, nor to blame another for it, but as an expression of our feeling—realizing that our anger is both our problem and our responsibility. When this is done adequately, the anger dissipates.

It is neither true nor helpful to say, "You make me mad." This is blaming the other person for your reaction and puts him or her on the defensive. It is more helpful to say, "I need to talk to you about such and such. I feel very angry about this. I know my anger is my problem and I may be overreacting, but I need to talk to you about this matter." That is, use "I" messages, not "you" messages.

Anger can also be expressed in writing, as David did in the Psalms.See Psalm 109. I have done this many times, after which I have torn up the piece of paper. Where necessary I have very carefully re-written those feelings (to speak the truth in love) and personally shared them with the other person or people involved.

Resolving relationships is very important. Christ reminds us that if we have any conflict with another person, we are to put things right before bringing our gifts to God. See Mark 11:25.

Seventh, before expressing anger, check to see if you are feeling afraid or threatened, because anger is often used as a defense against feeling afraid. If fear is the problem, talk about that.

Eighth, if you can't resolve your anger in any of the above ways, be sure to see a highly trained, qualified counselor. I know this can be costly but we can't afford not to resolve our anger. Otherwise the adverse effects caused by unresolved anger and especially hostility will be far more costly in terms of relationships, and emotional and physical health.

Last, when you have resolved your anger, forgive, forgive, forgive! This will forever free you from all who have hurt you.

For physical, emotional and spiritual health we need to be in touch with all our feelings (positive and negative), and use and express them in creative ways. This, too, is the way of love, for unresolved anger turns into resentment and builds barriers between friends, loved ones and even God, and blocks out love.

Suggested prayer: "Dear God, thank you again for your Word which gives positive instructions for healthy and productive living. Help me to apply it to my daily living, and resolve and get rid of all negative emotions. And help me to do this in healthy ways and always to speak the truth in love. Thank you for hearing and answering my prayer. Gratefully, in Jesus' name, amen."

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Ephesians 4:26-27

"If you are angry, don't sin by nursing your grudge. Don't let the sun go down with you still angry—get over it quickly; for when you are angry, you give a mighty foothold to the Devil." Ephesians 4:26-27

Your test seems to indicate that you have some buried anger," said the counselor to his client. "Do you think this could be true?" he asked.

"Me! Angry? Certainly not," replied the client. "I'll punch you in the nose for saying that!"

When it comes to anger we all have a tiger of sorts within. At times it provides great courage and motivation. It causes some of us to lash out and hurt others. At other times we are so afraid it will get out of control we bury it so that nobody, including ourselves, will ever know it exists.

Many of us were taught that anger is bad and to show it is immature. The mature person, however, doesn't deny his anger. He has learned to express it in appropriate ways.

Even though some people never show their anger, everybody gets angry sometimes. Anger is a God-given emotion. Of itself it is neither good nor bad, right nor wrong. It's what we do with it and how we handle it that counts.

In fact, there are many things we ought to be angry about, such as social injustice, child abuse, greed, and even legalistic religion that makes rules more important than people and keeps people in needless bondage.

Jesus was very angry with the religious people of his day for this very reason. When he healed a man on the Sabbath, the Pharisees were so furious they plotted to kill him. To them, religious observances were more important than the needs of people. We read that Jesus "looked around at them in anger…distressed at their stubborn hearts." Mark 3:5

Think too of Florence Nightingale. She was very angry about the terrible conditions suffered by wounded soldiers in the Crimean War. She used her anger creatively to bring about major changes in nursing care. This is a creative and healthy use of anger.

To be continued.

Suggested prayer: "Dear God, please help me to so live that I will always recognize and resolve my negative emotions as quickly as possible, and do so in creative and helpful ways—and never ever become bitter or nurse grudges. Thank you for hearing and answering my prayer. Gratefully, in Jesus' name, amen."

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Psalm 19:1-4

"The heavens declare the glory of God; the skies proclaim the work of his hands. Day after day they pour forth speech; night after night they display knowledge. There is no speech or language where their voice is not heard. Their voice goes out into all the earth, their words to the ends of the world." Psalm 19:1-4

When explorers from England first went to Australia they discovered some strange and wonderful animals not seen anywhere else in the world—animals such as the kangaroo, the koala (which isn't a bear as it is often called), and the ornithorhynchus—a mammal that laid eggs, spent some time in water and some on land, had a broad, flat tail, webbed feet, and a bill similar to a duck (now known as the platypus).

When the explorers returned home, nobody would believe their story about the platypus. All felt it was a hoax. Even after they returned to Australia and brought back a pelt from this strange animal, people still felt it was a hoax and refused to believe it was real.2

Many people say, "I believe only what I see for myself." That's not necessarily true either because, by and large, people see and believe only what they want to see and believe—and refuse to see and believe all else—regardless of the evidence.

However, what I see and believe has absolutely no effect on what is. What is, is—whether I see and believe it or not. For instance, I've never seen an atom but I've seen (at least in pictures) the evidence of its incredible power and believe it is real. I live close to a nuclear power plant and can't see the electric power it is generating, but its electricity is probably powering my computer on which I am typing this article right now. I can't see the electricity but whether I believe it is real or not doesn't affect its reality. It just is.

I've never seen God either but I see evidence of his presence and mighty power everywhere I look—I see and believe because I want and choose to believe. With God, as with many things in life, believing is seeing. Indeed, the heavens declare the glory of God. Believe it and you will see.

Suggested prayer: "Dear God, open my eyes and help me to see the marvels of your creation, the majesty of your presence, the magnificence of your power and, above all, help me to see all the riches in Jesus Christ you have for me—including the gift of forgiveness and eternal life to live with you forever in heaven. Thank you for hearing and answering my prayer. Gratefully, in Jesus' name, amen."

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