2 Thessalonians 3:10

"For even when we were with you, we gave you this rule: 'If a man will not work, he shall not eat.'" 2 Thessalonians 3:10

You may have read about the man, a construction worker who took a sandwich out of his lunch bag, looked at it and threw it on the ground, yelling, "Baloney again! I hate baloney." A coworker said, "If you hate baloney so much, just ask your wife to make you something else." The man replied, "That's the problem. My wife didn't make the sandwich. I did."

Whether this story is true or not, doesn't really matter. It's a great parable.

As Michael Josephson in Character Counts said, "Lots of people continually make their own baloney sandwiches and then act as victims when it's time to eat them. It's like the man who killed his parents and had the audacity to demand mercy because he was an orphan."

Or like the overweight man who kept eating hamburgers and blamed and wanted to sue MacDonald's, and three other hamburger chains for contributing to his obesity. And like the lady who sued a store because she fell over an unruly child and hurt herself—and the unruly kid in question was her own child! The tragedy was she won the case and was awarded something like $700,000! We've gone sue crazy in this part of the world where I live and much, if not most, of it is because of gross irresponsibility and pure greed—wanting the rewards of hard work at someone else's expense.

I realize it can be extremely difficult (and sometimes impossible) in tough economical times to get work, but if work—any kind of work—is available and I don't want to work, nobody, including the government, is responsible for paying me or feeding me … neither are my parents…nor is society. As Paul implied, if I CAN get any kind of a job but don't want to work or do so-called menial work, then I don't deserve to eat. Let me add, I've done some pretty menial work in my time—working as many as three jobs at once in the summer break and part-time through the school year to put myself through college. Years later, I'm still working a second part-time job to supplement my ministry income.

Suggested prayer: "Dear God, if in any way I'm acting irresponsibly and trying to get others to do for me what I can and need to do for myself, help me to confess up and accept personal responsibility. And if I'm supporting an irresponsible child or person, help me to wake up and motivate him/her to grow up. Thank you for hearing and answering my prayer. Gratefully, in Jesus' name, amen."

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Hebrews 9:14, 22

"How much more shall the blood of Christ, who through the eternal Spirit offered himself without spot to God, purge your conscience from dead works to serve the living God? … And almost all things are by the law purged with blood; and without shedding of blood is no remission [forgiveness of sins]." Hebrews 9:14, 22

I can certainly identify with Dr. Paul Brand who said, "I used to think it strange that the Bible keeps talking about the cleansing power of the blood. 1 Peter 1:2. It seemed to me that blood was messy stuff. I needed to wash my white lab coats if they became stained with blood. Today, I love the analogy; it is so true of the body. The blood is constantly cleansing every cell, and washing away all the debris that accumulates all the time. I like Paul's phrase in Hebrews. Hebrews 9:14. 'How much more shall the blood of Christ purge [cleanse] your conscience from dead works?'" (Dr. Paul Brand in God's Forever Feast, Discovery House, 1998.)

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Hebrews 10:24-25

"And let us consider how we may spur one another on toward love and good deeds. Let us not give up meeting together, as some are in the habit of doing, but let us encourage one another—and all the more as you see the Day approaching." Hebrews 10:24-25

In his book, Homemade, Dr. Ernest Mellor shares: "Recently my wife and I sat charmed at an outdoor performance by young Suzuki violin students. After the concert, an instructor spoke briefly on how children as young as two, three and four years old are taught to play violin. The first thing the children learn, he said, is a proper stance. And the second thing the children learn—even before they pick up the violin—is how to take a bow. 'If the children just play the violin and stop, people may forget to show their appreciation,' the instructor said. 'But when the children bow, the audience invariably applauds. And applause is the best motivator we've found to make children feel good about performing and want to do it well.'"

Being affirmed and appreciated is not only important for children, it is for adults too. When genuinely expressed, it is a great source of encouragement and motivation.

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Philippians 1:3

"I thank my God every time I remember you." Philippians 1:3

I have read that "Charles Plumb, a US Naval Academy graduate, was a jet pilot in Vietnam. After 75 combat missions, his plane was destroyed by a surface-to-air missile. Plumb ejected and parachuted into enemy hands. He was captured and spent six years in a Vietnamese prison. He survived the ordeal and now lectures on lessons learned from that experience.

"One day after Plumb gave a presentation, a fellow came up to him and said, 'You don't know me, but I am the person who packed your parachute the day you were shot down.'

"Plumb gasped in surprise and gratitude. The man pumped his hand and said, 'I guess it worked!'

"Plumb assured him, 'It sure did. If your chute hadn't worked, I wouldn't be here today.'"

If it weren't for somebody else—perhaps many "somebody elses"—most of us wouldn't be where we are today either. And if it weren't for somebody else telling us about Jesus and his gift of forgiveness and eternal life, most of us wouldn't know him and wouldn't be bound for Heaven. May we ever be mindful and thankful to all who have "folded our parachute" and may we do the same for others.

Suggested prayer: "Dear God, thank you for all who have helped me be where I am today and especially for those who shared your love and the gospel with me. Help me to have a thankful heart and help others to find you as others have helped me. Thank you for hearing and answering my prayer. Gratefully in Jesus' name, amen."

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1 Peter 2:1

"So get rid of your feelings of hatred [unresolved anger]. Don't just pretend to be good! Be done with dishonesty." 1 Peter 2:1

First, be honest and admit how you are feeling and don't pretend you are something that you are not. This only worsens and complicates matters and doesn't resolve anything.

Second, accept yourself as a normal human being who sometimes has angry feelings.

Third, ask God to help you admit your true feelings and to lead you to the help you need to resolve them in healthy ways.

Fourth, accept responsibility for your feelings and don't blame others for your feelings. What the other person has done to us is their issue, but how I respond is always my responsibility. Also, don't blame the devil. When I get angry, the devil doesn't make me do it. I can get angry all by myself. Neither is my anger a demon as some would have me believe. As the Bible says, when we don't resolve our anger we "give a mighty foothold to the devil." So, when we resolve our anger, he, the devil, loses his foothold!

Fifth, determine to resolve your feelings the same day or as quickly as possible

Sixth, express your feeling creatively—perhaps to an understanding friend first or to an "imaginary" substitute, and where necessary, to the person at whom you are angry. This is not an excuse to lash out at others. The goal should always be to "speak the truth in love." Ephesians 4:15.

When expressing anger we need to verbalize the emotion. Talking about the anger doesn't resolve it. The emotion needs to be released—not as an attack, nor to blame another for it, but as an expression of our feeling—realizing that our anger is both our problem and our responsibility. When this is done adequately, the anger dissipates.

It is neither true nor helpful to say, "You make me mad." This is blaming the other person for your reaction and puts him or her on the defensive. It is more helpful to say, "I need to talk to you about such and such. I feel very angry about this. I know my anger is my problem and I may be overreacting, but I need to talk to you about this matter." That is, use "I" messages, not "you" messages.

Anger can also be expressed in writing, as David did in the Psalms.See Psalm 109. I have done this many times, after which I have torn up the piece of paper. Where necessary I have very carefully re-written those feelings (to speak the truth in love) and personally shared them with the other person or people involved.

Resolving relationships is very important. Christ reminds us that if we have any conflict with another person, we are to put things right before bringing our gifts to God. See Mark 11:25.

Seventh, before expressing anger, check to see if you are feeling afraid or threatened, because anger is often used as a defense against feeling afraid. If fear is the problem, talk about that.

Eighth, if you can't resolve your anger in any of the above ways, be sure to see a highly trained, qualified counselor. I know this can be costly but we can't afford not to resolve our anger. Otherwise the adverse effects caused by unresolved anger and especially hostility will be far more costly in terms of relationships, and emotional and physical health.

Last, when you have resolved your anger, forgive, forgive, forgive! This will forever free you from all who have hurt you.

For physical, emotional and spiritual health we need to be in touch with all our feelings (positive and negative), and use and express them in creative ways. This, too, is the way of love, for unresolved anger turns into resentment and builds barriers between friends, loved ones and even God, and blocks out love.

Suggested prayer: "Dear God, thank you again for your Word which gives positive instructions for healthy and productive living. Help me to apply it to my daily living, and resolve and get rid of all negative emotions. And help me to do this in healthy ways and always to speak the truth in love. Thank you for hearing and answering my prayer. Gratefully, in Jesus' name, amen."

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Ephesians 4:26-27

"If you are angry, don't sin by nursing your grudge. Don't let the sun go down with you still angry—get over it quickly; for when you are angry, you give a mighty foothold to the Devil." Ephesians 4:26-27

Your test seems to indicate that you have some buried anger," said the counselor to his client. "Do you think this could be true?" he asked.

"Me! Angry? Certainly not," replied the client. "I'll punch you in the nose for saying that!"

When it comes to anger we all have a tiger of sorts within. At times it provides great courage and motivation. It causes some of us to lash out and hurt others. At other times we are so afraid it will get out of control we bury it so that nobody, including ourselves, will ever know it exists.

Many of us were taught that anger is bad and to show it is immature. The mature person, however, doesn't deny his anger. He has learned to express it in appropriate ways.

Even though some people never show their anger, everybody gets angry sometimes. Anger is a God-given emotion. Of itself it is neither good nor bad, right nor wrong. It's what we do with it and how we handle it that counts.

In fact, there are many things we ought to be angry about, such as social injustice, child abuse, greed, and even legalistic religion that makes rules more important than people and keeps people in needless bondage.

Jesus was very angry with the religious people of his day for this very reason. When he healed a man on the Sabbath, the Pharisees were so furious they plotted to kill him. To them, religious observances were more important than the needs of people. We read that Jesus "looked around at them in anger…distressed at their stubborn hearts." Mark 3:5

Think too of Florence Nightingale. She was very angry about the terrible conditions suffered by wounded soldiers in the Crimean War. She used her anger creatively to bring about major changes in nursing care. This is a creative and healthy use of anger.

To be continued.

Suggested prayer: "Dear God, please help me to so live that I will always recognize and resolve my negative emotions as quickly as possible, and do so in creative and helpful ways—and never ever become bitter or nurse grudges. Thank you for hearing and answering my prayer. Gratefully, in Jesus' name, amen."

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